well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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