I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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