Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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