Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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