Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
