just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
