So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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