Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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