I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we have pet lesbian snakes
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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