Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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