Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
