I cockslap morals
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I would ride that face into the sunset
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Such a big mess for such a small penis
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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