Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
