idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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