Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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