Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
