with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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