I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
