This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize