Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
