I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.