Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.