We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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