Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
