i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
