wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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