If i could tip my vagina, i would.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
