Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
