took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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