he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize