come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Please don't give away my fajitas
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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