I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
well you can't waste a boner
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
