Porn is love you can see.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
