hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
