Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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