omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
