i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
