I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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