Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
it was like eating out sand paper
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
