She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
