I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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