i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
