from now on my penis is your penis
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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