too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
