For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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