All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
