Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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