i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Panties = found
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
