White coat. Heels.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
