Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?