I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative