When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.