No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
