You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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