I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
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Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
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Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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