Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
