if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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