WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
