I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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