Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
