Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
