Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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